I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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