You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
