Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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