you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize