how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
