Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What drink are we having for lunch?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
