great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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