Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
