Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
