shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
