Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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