If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
