Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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