We're facebook friends in real life
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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