I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
