im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You work out of a Hotel?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
