I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize