He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
