I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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