I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize