Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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