I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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