Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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