it wasn't lemon gatorade
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
