no, he came in my armpit
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
