meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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