Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
