I hate your face
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
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I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
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She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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