he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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