hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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