Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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