Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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