Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Randomize
