How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize