Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
