Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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