your parents love me but you hate me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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