I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You were trust falling into bushes
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize