HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize