I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
