Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
