Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
