People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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