I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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