I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
