just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
