i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
