Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
