Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
