how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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