Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we're making bets on your personal life
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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