wanna go halves on a baby?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
