Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
