i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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