I'm lost and stupid without you.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
