Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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